Church Jokes

A woman called on the Baptist minister and asked him if he would preach a funeral for her dog who had just died.  "I can't do that, ma'am," he said. "Why don't you try the Presbytarian minister?"

"All right," she said, "but can you give me some advice.  How much should I pay him – three hundred dollars or four hundred dollars?"

"Hold on," he said, "I didn't know your dog was Baptist!"

Hymns for People Over 50

Give Me the Old Timers Religion

Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up

Just a Slower Walk with Thee

Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up

Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing

Guide Me O Thou Great Lord God, I've Forgotten Where I've Parked The Car

Count Your Many Birthdays, Count Them One By One

Blessed Insurance

It Is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt

Boaz

What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
ANS:  Ruthless.

Lawbreaker

Which man in the Bible was the most flagrant lawbreaker?

ANS:  Moses. He broke all ten commandments at once.