Monthly Archives: October 2013
A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook about a medical condition from which he was suffering. After reading his post, I became very concerned:
"Been dealing all morning with a nice case of Anterior existaxis. No need to explain further. Went to urgent care, to get some expensive advice! Now, sitting still to keep it from starting back up for the fourth time. Fun. (if you know, you know, if you don't, look it up, but don't tell)."
I responded to his post:
Your post said: "Been dealing all morning with a nice case of Anterior existaxis. No need to explain further."
I'm thinking to myself, "Yes, you do need to explain further. I have no idea what that is."
Then you state: "(if you know, you know, if you don't, look it up, but don't tell)"
By then, I'm thinking, "Oh my goodness. He had to go to the hospital. This must REALLY be serious since I'm not supposed to tell anyone. I guess it must have to do with the more private parts of the body." lol
"I wonder what 'Anterior existaxis' means?"
"Let's see…'anterior'….that must mean something that 'exists' on the 'anterior' of the body (thinking in my mind 'exterior'). And it's a private area… I bet that means his butt!"
To reinforce that conclusion, I then I read, "Now, SITTING STILL to keep it from starting back up for the fourth time."
By this time, I'm saying to myself, "YEOW!!!! It's a recurring problem! This must be really serious and painful that requires him to sit perfectly STILL!"
You can imagine how I was rolling on the floor laughing when I actually did look up 'Anterior Existaxis' and discovered what it actually meant, i.e., a nose bleed!
Ignorance can often lead us down the wrong path…and that can be very funny.
Postscript: My sister, "the nurse." chastised me. She said, "the word "existaxis" does not exist. The correct word is "epitaxis"!!!!!"
1. Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you.
2. How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
3. How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?
4. Unfortunately I can’t perform miracles and I’ve only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.
5. I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
6. If we were around with Noah… then you + me = pair.
7. Me + You = Song of Songs: the remix.
8. So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and then I realized, I don’t have yours.
9. Hey, I’m Will. God’s will. (This one helps if your actual name is Will).
10. I didn’t know angels flew this low.
11. Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?
12. Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.
13. I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.
14. Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
15. I just want you to know, I’m praying for you… No, I’m praying “FOR” you.
16. I’m usually not very prophetic, but I can see us together.
17. We talk a lot about being spirit-led. Well, the spirit led me straight to you.
18. Is this the transfiguration? Because you are glowing.
19. Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket?
20. I’m interested in full time ministry, and not only that… I also play the guitar.
21. I have familiarized myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, I invented 4 of them.
22. I mentioned you in my testimony.
23. Your hair is like a flock of goats.