Father
We’re having a ‘yummy’ dinner tonight!
Two years ago in early June, I took my dad up fishing to Alaska at Elfin Cove. The King Salmon were supposed to be running, but they were at least 2-3 weeks late. Out of all the 10+ lodges at Elfin Cove, not one person caught a salmon that week (very disappointing).
We were on a second to last day there, when my dad hooked to what appeared about 25-30 lb. King. He had good fight and we could see it jumping out of the water as my dad began to reel it in. Everyone was excited. Not only was he catching a "King," but he would be the only one to have bragging rights.
About 50-100 yards off the boat, the King came up jumping out of the water. It was beautiful to see and just added to the anticipation of a delicious meal that night. Just as he was coming down, a seal appeared out of nowhere and chomped down on the King leaving nothing but a portion of the head dangling off the line!!
Silence fell upon the boat, followed by loud gasps of disbelief from each of us. The Chicken Alfredo we had for dinner that night was mediocre at best.
Euphemisms
Yesterday, I was talking to my son about different words and their meaning. One of the words was 'euphemism.' A euphemism is a generally innocuous word or expression used in place of one that may be found offensive or suggest something unpleasant. For example, 'he passed away' rather than 'he died.'
I work out of my home, so today I came down from my upstairs office, plopped myself down in front of the TV, and began to eat lunch. After 15-20 minutes I advised my son, who now was in the kitchen fixing in his own lunch, that I needed to get up and go back to work.
"Oh dad, you don't need to do that! Just stay there and relax more." he said.
I responded, "That's very tempting, but I better get back to work."
He said, "I know I'm not being a big help to you. I'm like the 'bad advice guy' on your shoulder."
"BAD ADVICE GUY??!!!" I queried. "You mean like the devil and angel?"
"Yeah!" he answered, "But I didn't want to call myself the 'Devil.'
"You know what that is, son?" I began, seizing the opportunity to capitalize on yesterday's lesson, "It's a …."
He interupts me and shouts out, "EUPHEMISM !!!"
I smiled as I went back to work, pleased that at least one of my lessons to my son did not go unheard.
"
The Pen
In church, I sit on the aisle seat. Across the aisle, one row forward, sat a father (approx 6'6" in height) also in the aisle seat, with his two very young daughters seated next to him. Somewhere during the announcements, the children are instructed to get out of their seats and head to their respective Sunday School classes.
Dressed in their frilly pink dresses, and cuter than a button, both attract a lot of attention as they, with great effort, noisily climb (what must seem to them like Mt. Everest) over the long lanky legs of their father. The first girl reaches the aisle and runs towards the back as her younger sister (best described as a "knee-nibbler") struggles to negotiate the knee terrain.
After much effort, she proudly reaches the aisle and pauses to survey the number of people who are now looking at her, no doubt enjoying and celebrating her accomplishment and moment. Clasped in her right hand is a rather expensive silver pen.
The father extends his palm out and says, "Give it to me."
Somewhat confused by his request, she turns in a 360 degree motion as though in slow motion, both hands raised in the air, pen tightly held, looking for a clue from any onlooker as to discern what her father wants.
The father extends his palm a bit further, and once again (but more firmly, yet still gentle) says, "Give it to me."
Somewhere during the 2nd iteration of her turn, her face lights up, a big smile crosses her face, and in a moment of epiphany, she understands with clarity what her father is asking of her.
With her left-hand she grabs the pen from her right hand. And then without hesitation, winds up her right-hand, and in a full downward motion plants a loud, echoing, and no doubt painful 'high-5" hand slap onto the extended palm of her father.
With pen in hand, she rushes down the aisle to follow after her older sister. The father, hand still extended and throbbing, with a sheepish grin lifts his eyes to survey the number of witnesses who are now laughing uncontrollably. With head tilted down, and with determination, his imposing frame rises from the chair and he too heads down the aisle.
Moments later, like a proud hunter with his prey, he returns with the silver pen grasped tightly in his grip. Acknowledging the admiring spectators with a smile and gentle nod of his head to each, he sits down to enjoy the rest of the service.
We all smile.