We’re eating breakfast together. It’s somewhat quiet. Pretty much all you can hear is the crunch of the cereal. All of a sudden my son blurts out (as though he’s given a good deal of thought to what he’s about to say), “You know, Dad, someday I’m going to climb to the very top of a small mountain to watch the sunrise!”
“Huh?” I’m thinking to myself somewhat taken back.
Then, realizing what he just said, and no doubt considering the amount of effort that would be exerted to accomplish such a task, he revised his statement, “…perhaps a small hill!”
“That’s great, son!” I responded. “Your goals should never exceed your grasp.”
I continued, “Strive for mediocrity, son. You’ll go ‘high places’ with that attitude.”
I shook my head sighing as he smiled, stroked his chin, and nodded his head in self-affirmation and satisfaction of his future goals.
I spent a lot of time blowing up balloons for my son's birthday, which was a few days ago. My wife went around with a pin today and destroyed them!
While she was doing it, I said, "You take my breath away!"
By the time we were finished, my voice was getting hoarse from talking so much and long. He gets up and says,
"Thanks Dad! That was really helpful. I'll get going on them next week some time…"
I feel like Charlie Brown, i.e. "ARRRGHHH!"
(Note: He was trying to be funny when he said that. I laughed and really enjoyed his humor)
Yesterday, I was talking to my son about different words and their meaning. One of the words was 'euphemism.' A euphemism is a generally innocuous word or expression used in place of one that may be found offensive or suggest something unpleasant. For example, 'he passed away' rather than 'he died.'
I work out of my home, so today I came down from my upstairs office, plopped myself down in front of the TV, and began to eat lunch. After 15-20 minutes I advised my son, who now was in the kitchen fixing in his own lunch, that I needed to get up and go back to work.
"Oh dad, you don't need to do that! Just stay there and relax more." he said.
I responded, "That's very tempting, but I better get back to work."
He said, "I know I'm not being a big help to you. I'm like the 'bad advice guy' on your shoulder."
"BAD ADVICE GUY??!!!" I queried. "You mean like the devil and angel?"
"Yeah!" he answered, "But I didn't want to call myself the 'Devil.'
"You know what that is, son?" I began, seizing the opportunity to capitalize on yesterday's lesson, "It's a …."
He interupts me and shouts out, "EUPHEMISM !!!"
I smiled as I went back to work, pleased that at least one of my lessons to my son did not go unheard.
On my way home from church, I was talking about this web site with my kids. I recommended that they subscribe to it since a lot of the funny stories were about them.
"Who's going to go to your site, dad?" my son sarcastically chimes in from the back seat. He continues, "Heck, I can't even spell whimsical banter!"
I replied, "Keeps the illiterate out!"
Everyone (all authors and writers) in the car laughed…except my son.
The furthering adventures of 'Life with my Wife!"
My wife and I are downstairs early this morning preparing and hanging decorations around as we wait for our son (his birthday is today) to wake up and come downstairs.
"Here," she commands, as she tosses me a package, "blow these up!"
It's a bag of balloons. Not just any balloons, but black balloons. Perceiving that not a lot planning or money was spent on decorations, I said, "These balloons are black! Aren't these left over from your 50th birthday party a few years ago?"
Rather than admit she didn't go out and buy any special color balloons, she began to justify her color choice.
"Black is a 'manly' color. It's just the color it should be!" she instructed me.
After both of us blowing up several of them, I walked over and started to dig through a few bags that she had pulled from the gift paper and decoration cabinet.
"Hey!" I countered, "Here's a bunch of purple balloons," as I pulled them from the bag.
Her back was to me as she was buttering some toast. Not wanting to admit she didn't put the money or time to get any other color, she repeated, "Black is a 'MANLY' color!" "Purple is NOT a 'MANLY' color!"
As she turned to me with a stern demeanor, she finalized her argument by declaring with authority, "No MAN would choose "PURPLE!!!"
She stopped short, with mouth gaping open. I just so happen to be wearing a purple T-Shirt (Washington Huskies color).
Stuttering, she responded, "Purp….Purple…is…uh..a…purple is a MANLY color as well. It would be great to have you add some purple balloons to the black ones."
I love my wife! Strong in conviction, unbending in resolve!
Shortly, thereafter, my son walks in. His face rubs against a number of long straw-colored yarn pieces that my wife had hung in the doorway that leads into the kitchen (her idea of birthday decorations).
"Oh!" he exclaimed with a puzzled look on his face. He slowly said, "That's in-ter-est-ing…hanging yarn?!!"
Without missing a beat, my wife chimes in, "Yeah! Yarn is MANLY!"
I roll my eyes and remained silent.