I’m not deaf!!!

not deafMy car has all the bells and whistles.  Most components in the car (radio, navigation, phone, etc.) can be controlled by voice commands. A button must be first pushed to activate the listening mode. The little mic is right above the driver's head. Push the button, issue your command, and wait for the command to be executed. Simple.

My wife and I attended a special birthday party for a friend at a local restaurant. After the party, we left and climbed into the car. I started the car and the GPS display panel lights up. It has two modes, daylight (black text on bright white background) and night time (soft grey text on black background). Since we arrived while it was light outside, the display was still in daylight mode. It was dark now, and the blinding display looked like a flashlight shining back onto our faces.

Just as I was pulling out of the parking lot my wife leans over towards me, and with a very LOUD voice, yells "NIGHT TIME MODE!!!" 

I'm so startled at this unexpected outburst, I nearly lose control of the car.

Recovering from the near accident, ears still throbbing,  I advise her, "A button needs to be pushed before you issue a command!"

"Oh, I thought it was listening all the time." she responds.

"Even if it was," I countered, "it's not deaf !!! You don't have to yell so loud!"

"I just wanted to make sure it heard me loud and clear."

"All you need to do is to speak clearly." I instructed. "Believe me, it will hear you 'loud and clear.'"

I pushed the button and said, "Go ahead…speak."  She spoke. It changed to night-time mode. She settled back into her chair and smiled, obviously pleased with her great accomplishment. My ears are still ringing.


A Manly Color

The furthering adventures of 'Life with my Wife!"

My wife and I are downstairs early this morning preparing and hanging decorations around as we wait for our son (his birthday is today) to wake up and come downstairs.

"Here," she commands, as she tosses me a package, "blow these up!"

It's a bag of balloons. Not just any balloons, but black balloons. Perceiving that not a lot planning or money was spent on decorations, I said, "These balloons are black! Aren't these left over from your 50th birthday party a few years ago?"

Rather than admit she didn't go out and buy any special color balloons, she began to justify her color choice.

"Black is a 'manly' color. It's just the color it should be!" she instructed me.

After both of us blowing up several of them, I walked over and started to dig through a few bags that she had pulled from the gift paper and decoration cabinet.

"Hey!" I countered, "Here's a bunch of purple balloons," as I pulled them from the bag.

Her back was to me as she was buttering some toast. Not wanting to admit she didn't put the money or time to get any other color, she repeated, "Black is a 'MANLY' color!"   "Purple is NOT a 'MANLY' color!"

As she turned to me with a stern demeanor, she finalized her argument by declaring with authority, "No MAN would choose "PURPLE!!!"

She stopped short, with mouth gaping open. I just so happen to be wearing a purple T-Shirt (Washington Huskies color).

Stuttering, she responded, "Purp….Purple…is…uh..a…purple is a MANLY color as well. It would be great to have you add some purple balloons to the black ones."

I love my wife! Strong in conviction, unbending in resolve!

Shortly, thereafter, my son walks in. His face rubs against a number of long straw-colored yarn pieces that my wife had hung in the doorway that leads into the kitchen (her idea of birthday decorations).

"Oh!" he exclaimed with a puzzled look on his face. He slowly said, "That's in-ter-est-ing…hanging yarn?!!"

Without missing a beat, my wife chimes in, "Yeah! Yarn is MANLY!"

I roll my eyes and remained silent.